Life is supposed to happen in a sequence. A sequence of events if you like. But how that sequence of events happens is ultimately up to us. Or is it?
As a newly wed, who is very much in the blissed out loved up stage in the marriage, its hard to imagine being married to anyone else, right? I mean it’s completely normal to feel like you want to be with this person for the rest of your life because, hey, this is the reason you got married.
So it is interesting to me, as a newly wed, to have the opportunity to see inside other people’s marriages because if there is one thing I have learnt since getting married is that people like to tell you about their own marriage. A lot.
Its kind of like therapy, if therapy means passively telling you that a holy or legal union is not what it’s cracked up to be and that maybe you shouldn’t have got married. Although, this is from people who are have had or are currently going through some sort of trauma in their marriage. These are the people who are more than willing to tell you when something is wrong.
The people who are not talking about marriage? Those are the ‘Happy’ ones. The couples who are so close, they finish each others sentences. Who order for each other when you go for dinner. There the couples who know that as soon as they say how happy they are, people around them instantly make the fake puking sound. But what people don’t realise is that, that fake puking sound actually makes a two folded point.
1. The people making the puking sound (Lets call them pukees for ease) realise something. Pukees realise that they have a jealous reaction forming within them. Sure they may joke with the two-fingers down the throat action, but really its them showing they are missing what had before. Or even a yearning for something they didn’t have at all.
2. The people who are being puked on (Lets call these…puked on?) realise that they have released something. They have released something to the world which previously wasn’t tarnished, wasn’t subjected to ridicule or scrutiny. Are the puked about to become the pukees when the next new couple comes along, because they too have become jealous.
Here is my two cents.
As part of a happily married, albeit newly wed couple, I can feel the pressure to ‘become’ a pukee. Having recently been ‘puked on’ (I would’ve thought about the names before writing) when expressing perhaps stupidly my profound happiness and in fact, I believe my words were ‘We’ve never been happier’, the wrathful-ness of the pukees was tantamount.
The reason for this…WE WERE HAPPY BEFORE WE WERE MARRIED.
The fact that we were married and happy in the same sentence was actually a tiny detail in the mockery of our happiness.
People had preempted the puking, practising the two-finger action to make sure they got it right. They knew we were going to say ‘We’ve never been happier’ because we were already that happy. Why would we let a thing like marriage get in the way of that.
As the saying goes, misery loves company. The pukees need more people to be like them. The puked on realise that they have said too much and want to do anything they can to take it back, because lets face it, who wants to be friends with misery.
However, once you have endured the whole “That feeling wont last; wait till your married a couple of years or have kids” blah blah blah, you will be accepted into the ‘Pukee Clan’ which in turn allows you to ridicule the new, naive couple, who just can’t keep their hands off each other.
But who wants to do that?
I’m keeping hold of my ‘Puked on’ status for as long as I can.