Strength

Dear James,

My beautiful boy, I hope you know how much I love you.
I love you to the moon and back, beyond the stars and I love you more than there are fish in the ocean.

Yesterday, we found out some news that is life changing. Life changing in both negative and positive ways, but we will focus more on the positive.

There is something in Mummy that’s not very nice. Mummy calls it a nasty word, a word you will no doubt mimic at some point.

At the moment this thing is not making Mummy unwell, but to get rid of it, to make it go, I might need to get a little ill first.

It might mean that you get to see Auntie Giu or Uncle Tattoo more so that Mummy can sleep off some of the nastiness away. But I am sure you won’t mind being the centre of there universe for an afternoon or night.

Mummy and Daddy had to make a decision about our families future which in some ways was the easiest decision to make but it doesn’t make it any less heartbreaking.
James, we weren’t even meant to have you, we really lucked out when you were given to us.
I don’t actually think you could be replicated.

We are about to start a journey together that at the moment has no end. But with you and Daddy at my side, it will be a journey we will get through together.

James, even when you read this back when you’re older, you will never truly know how much I have to thank you. You being in my life has made me a strong person, you give me purpose and strength.

You give me the fight I need to win.

You also give amazing kisses and cuddles.

It will be tough but we are tougher, my gorgeous boy.

Keep growing strong,
Lots of love
Mama
XOX

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