Nitty Gritty

OK. Here are the facts.

The tumour is quite large, 7-8 cms. It has spread slightly to the lymph node in my pelvis, hence why the radiotherapy will now be across my whole pelvis and not localised. The remainder of my body is fine.

The course of treatment will be 6 weeks of intense radiotherapy, everyday, apart from weekends, with chemotherapy once a week. This will be in tablet form with a saline infusion to protect my kidneys. Towards the end of the treatment cycle, I will have 3 internal radiation hits, to really boost the work already done.

This chemo might make me nauseous and sick but I will not lose my hair.

The radiotherapy will make me very tired and my bowel movements will probably change as they are of course impacting on an area which houses my bowel and bladder.

The radiotherapy itself is a 10-15 minute session, which is much like a scan and should be painless. It might be uncomfortable later and I will probably experience some bleeding.

I have been told to carry on as normal, no harm will come to children or pregnant ladies and I can continue to exercise and work, if I feel up to it.

The next step is for me to have an examination under anaesthetic, then I will have a kidney scan to see if I am functioning properly, then we will have our pre-radiotherapy appointment where I get sized up and tattooed, and prepped for war.

Treatment is aiming to start in 3 weeks time.

This is the start of an important life changing journey for me. I am scared, petrified I won’t be able to remain as strong as I am feeling today. I know I have to be and I will be. I have too much support around me, not to be.

Today was the first time it hit me. I have cancer.

Fuck.

I have cancer.

But I also have you.

Come join me. It’s not going to be pretty, but if nothing else it will be an experience.

Wish me luck.

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13 thoughts on “Nitty Gritty

  1. mugofdecaf says:

    Fran, you’re amazing. I know it’s going to be hard, emotionally and physically, but just keep in mind that it is only 6 weeks of your life. 6 weeks. Out of years and years and years. Just 6 weeks. Whenever you feel awful, it’s just 6 weeks xxx

  2. We are all here for you every step of the way. We will be here when you are feeling strong to help you fight and for you to lean on when you are not. J & P will keep you going & keep that fighting spirit which has been so inspiring. x

  3. I can only echo what has already been said.
    We will all be here for you when you need to laugh, cry, scream and kick the shit out of fuckwit.
    You are an amazing strong woman and I know you can beat this.
    Sending as much love as you need whenever you need it xx

  4. It will be tough. U know it will be. You’d be silly to pretend its not. But P & J will b there every day to see u through supporting you, making you smile. And your army is with u every step of the way too. Morning, noon and night, there will always be someone there you can turn to. Knowing that should help make things a bit easier. You have cancer. It sucks. But you also have an amazing circle of friends and family who will be there no matter what. Xxx

  5. We are all rooting for you and against Fuckwit. Don’t expect yourself to feel like Superwoman every day, it’s too big an ask of yourself. But you’re surrounded by so much love and support, we will do our utmost to ensure any feelings of hopelessness that may hit do not spiral out of control. You ARE Superwoman, even if some days you might forget. And you WILL defeat that fucking Fuckwit. Much love, thinking of you constantly (I only don’t whatsapp you all the time because I don’t want to bother you) xxxxxxx

  6. angela says:

    Like the others have said Fran EVERYONE is praying and sending positive vibes. You don’t always have to be strong you are allowed to be scared.
    Tomorrow we party so you can go into this feeling good xx
    Lots of love xxx

  7. _g3 says:

    Fran, you are doing so fantastically. To echo what mugofdecaf said, it will be hard, but it’s just 6 weeks out of your long, long life. Take each day one day at a time and you will triumph over this. Once you get through this you will feel as though you can conquer the world. You can achieve anything, half of the battle is remembering that. Go on girl!!! xxx

  8. SuzanneTiplady says:

    you are strong enough to get through this. And you have two amazing boys by your side to help you through. Will think of you every day. love you lots frannie x

  9. @helenw71 says:

    This post has answered a lot of the questions I was going to ask my lovely. This will be a hard 9 weeks, but we’ll all be with you every step of the way & you’re my kick-ass Cockney marra (geordie translation: friend). You can do this & you will do this.
    Full of admiration for you & considering it an honour to be a sergent in the Fight Against Fuckwit. Hxx

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