Just another day.

Today we lazed around, we pottered, we eventually got dressed and went to the park.

Today was a normal day.

No hospital appointments.

No dashing off in a panic.

No sloping off to cry, so that James can’t see.

In a time when our normal day to day lives will need to adjust and change, having today meant that I finally took a breath and appreciate what is in front of me.

One step at a time.

Love

I made him.

Appreciating the little things.

With all the changes and upheaval and just plain grief, today was just what we all needed.

Maybe today wasn’t just a normal day afterall.

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2 thoughts on “Just another day.

  1. Becs says:

    Oh Fran,

    Suz just told me what’s happened, and I’ve just read your last few posts with a mixture of complete recognition, chuckling at your brilliant turn of phrase (as usual) and crying my eyes out. While we haven’t had the same thing, and the treatment run will be different, so much of what you’re saying reminds me of how I felt from August 9th 2011 – the date I will never forget when I was diagnosed with the big C (or the big F for Fuckwit, I like that a lot). You will never ever forget that day. But you will look back at it and think that it’s the first day of the rest of your life.

    You have exactly the right attitude, you have exactly the right support and your hope, bravery and sheer will will win out.

    I know you do already – but you will treasure James throughout this period. Henry was the best best best distraction I had throughout the whole process of my journey with the fuckwit. He and Nick kept me strong beyond all measure – but I remember when I was lying in bed, catheterised at home like a 90 year old, with an 18 month old boy wanting desperately to jump up and down on me, feeling so sorry for him and, of course, for myself. Try as you might, you can’t help it sometimes. You are entitled to this and while being strong is vital for your own mental health, try not to feel guilty if you can’t be the energetic mama that you usually are… he’ll be puzzled at first, but he’ll work it out.

    The only other thing I will say is that you might be surprised at the way that others react to you while you’re going through this. You’ll be determined to stay strong but sometimes this really freaks people out (in my experience anyway). For some people, they needed to see that I was terrified as much as they were (I know, this sounds weird and selfish, but that’s the way it went – and actually just made me feel the depth of their care about me).

    6 weeks. It will be tough beyond measure. I will be thinking of you all the time. If you do ever want to chat with someone who’s been through something similar, I’m at the end of a phone, or an email or to meet if you feel strong enough. But you’ve got the blog which is an amazing outlet – with all your followers and mates and family. You’ll be ok.

    One step at a time is just right. But remember that one day you’ll be able to look back and see how far you’ve come.
    Becs
    xxxx

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