I know I’m like a week later or whatever but here is my letter to my 15 year old self.
Dear 15 year old Frannie,
In your diary you have recently written that by 25 years old you want to be married and happy in your job and that you want 2 children. I can tell you that you accomplished most of that. You are married now and have a wonderful little boy. The job thing is a work in progress. The 2nd baby thing even more so. But remember you are very lucky.
Right now you are in the midst of coursework and GCSE exam hell and while you think what is the point and that you can’t understand it, trust me. It all works out and you do so much better than you give yourself credit for.
Just a few more months and then it’s all behind you. You really flourish with French by the way, you should definitely do it for A Level. Don’t do ICT, you only did that because you had a soft spot for Mr Bolton. Also don’t admit that last fact whilst drunk on Hooch because you will get laughed at. Repeatedly.
You are shy and find it hard to talk to boys but there is a little cheeky streak in you dying to get out. Don’t worry, it’s only because you hang around with girls who have big personalities. You are a much better people watcher.
You will get a chance to express yourself, hold tight it’ll all make sense soon.
You will fall in love very hard for completely the wrong person. In the next couple of years your heart will be strung out by that person and although it will cloud your judgement you come out of it with a better understanding of yourself. For you are only a tiny slip of a 15 year old girl and not the grown up woman you think you are. Your naivety was played against you.
You have to go through this though to make you realise the type of person you want to be. You will cry and you will hurt but it will be ok.
Don’t lose touch with the girls who see you through your last school years. You will regret this heavily. Although a tiny thing call Facebook which is yet to be invented, gets you back in touch, it’ll never really be the same.
But don’t worry, you will meet a vast and varied bunch of people you call friends.
Don’t worry, you escape the wretched place that is Chingford and travel a lot. India and Canada are just a couple of the highlights.
You will come back though because you realise Chingford isn’t so bad. Ish.
What else…oh yea, don’t be worried about telling boys what music you like, turns out you have a very cool taste in music.
Don’t worry about your weight. You are actually tiny. You will never be as slim as Katie because that is how her genes work, not yours. Embrace your Italian heritage (big boobs and bum).
One last thing…don’t roll up your skirt quite so high. You will fall down the ramp and your skirt goes up, no one will see but you’ll be mortified forever.
15 year old Frannie, things will get tough and life doesn’t always go the way you meticulously planned but you are amazingly strong. You are 5 little years away from meeting a man who will change your life in lots of ways.
I hope the 45 year old Frannie can tell us both that we were silly girls and that it’ll all be ok.
I also hope she can tell us we’ve won the lottery too. That would be nice.
Keep smiling that smile,
29 and a half year old Frannie x