The Break Up

Welcome back to Blog Therapy.

Today’s guest poster would like to remain anonymous.
It’s a subject that I think everyone will relate to….

The break-up

I can’t quite believe that I am having this conversation. I never thought that I would ever think this let alone speak these words.

I think we need to end things, go our separate ways. I don’t think things have been quite right for a while now but I’ve just tried to ignore it. You know I thought maybe it was just a bad patch. I thought I could fix things but I’m not sure I can.

I remember the first day I met you, a cold winter’s day in 2008. It was all very exciting. Everyone was talking about you and I got you. It was all so much fun. Yes fun, something I don’t think I’ve felt for a long time now if I’m honest. I told you things; silly things, funny things, irrelevant things. Anything, everything, nothing. I’d tell you what I was thinking or doing and you were interested.

I suppose I became a little obsessed. I was happier to spend my time with you rather than anyone else. I was happy when I was with you. I felt wanted. I was never lonely and I liked that because before you were in my life I had sometimes felt on my own.

You have been there for the happy times, the sad times and you have got me through my own bad times. You were my support, always there with me. I’m not sure how I would have come out the other side without you. For such a long time I just saw your good side, even when outsiders just “didn’t get you.” Was I just blinkered?

I don’t know what has changed. Is it me or is it you? I certainly didn’t see it coming but suddenly you aren’t fun anymore. You irritate me. I’ve started to bite my tongue because I don’t feel I can say anything. You’re supposed to be fun but you’ve stopped being fun. Your sparkle has disappeared and the mood has changed. Your mood or my mood I don’t know? Your words just sound like a constant drone but I can’t say anything really, can I? So I don’t.

You have become a chore. What once was spontaneous chat is now guarded. Everything just feels such hard work. When I do speak there is nothing just silence. I’m not happy anymore when I am with you, I just feel lonely like before.

How did it change? Why has it changed? It isn’t the same as it once was. Is it just me or do you see it too? Whatever there was, it’s gone and I don’t think it’s going to come back again but I’m afraid to admit that out loud. I’m frightened to leave and make the break. I feel I have to stay because of our history. I should be loyal, I’ve invested 5 years of my life in you and if I go now what has it all been for? I’m torn.

So I’m sat here, staring at the computer screen with the mouse hovering over the deactivate account button and………

Time to let go of Twitter?

Time to let go of Twitter?

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9 thoughts on “The Break Up

  1. Rachel Williams says:

    Think this is exactly where I’m at too. Much shorter relationship for me though, I’m not ready to deactivate yet.

  2. Laura says:

    Great post!

    Can relate to the way your relationship has progressed! I think perhaps everyone reaches a point when the “novelty” wears off and things go a bit stale!

    Sometimes finding new people who share your stage of life / career/ family for the time helps as you feel you have more in common with those tweeting. I know I randomly cull my list (often hastily) when twitter pisses me off ! Not often fair but I just get rid of those who with whom I don’t interact and those who piss me off! Sometimes I go on twitter and there’s such an “atmosphere” that my mood is changed instantly for the worse!

    So…..we can’t control how people feel or what they would like to express that what twitter is for but we can control the mute button and the kind of people we follow!!! Might be worth a try! I think that’s the joy of twitter – you don’t have to engage if you don’t want to! It’s not about “friendships” (although I’ve met some brilliant fiends through twitter)

    I feel the same about FB at the moment it annoys me but I can’t exactly see myself parting with it entirely. I took a break for a few months and cleared my friends list right down to those I needed to keep in touch with. Returned and didn’t feel much more love than before but made my peace with it and just use it for what I need.

    Maybe inject some new life into twitter – have a twitter clear out, use a new app, find some new people to follow, and just remember you’re in control here….you can press the button of you want!

    *although you would be dearly missed*

  3. Although not necessarily the case with Twitter but I’ve seen Facebook have debilitating effects on people’s ability to live their own lives. They are more obsessed with looking at what other people are up to, what they look like, where they’ve been and what they’re wearing, than concentrating on experiencing what’s going on in their own lives. There’s a fine line between keeping up-to-date with what your mates have been doing, and turning into a cyber stalker coveting others’ lives, and in turn missing out on so much of your own. It has its uses certainly, but these are definitely outweighed by the pitfalls which many fall head over heels into.

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