7 Kisses Goodnight

I look at you in wonder, my beautiful blonde haired boy.

Your perfect little nose, your expressive brow. The wrinkle that appears when you laugh from your belly. You almost always laugh in your sleep at least once. Its both terrifying and exhilarating all at once.

Your breath which is rested and contented. Lulling you into sweet dreams.

Your lashes which could make a supermodel envious. You’ll create waves with those lashes, your very own breeze maker.

Your cupids bow still puckered, that wonderful little baby pout which you’ve never lost.

And the air around you, still, silent and comforting.

We always nod off together; head in lap, your hand on your chest with the other touching me, making sure I haven’t gone far.

That comfort and reassurance help you drift off to slumber but you’ll never realise its you comforting and reassuring me.

When I know you’re in a deep sleep, I move you up so that I cradle you. Your neck in the crook of my arm, your long body draped across my legs and your hand instinctively grasping at my ‘spot’ under my chin.

I take you all in. You could have been a monster ALL DAY LONG (trust me, it happens), but those sweet moments I get to hold you without you struggling to run away or blowing raspberries or squealing from tickles, are some of my most happiest minutes.

Time could stop and it wouldn’t matter.

My whole world is in my arms.

I nuzzle your cheek and feel your soft skin and I give 7 kisses. 6 little kisses then a big firm kiss at the end.

I could kiss you all day long and I am always asking for one from you, but the 7 kisses goodnight are the best.

I could be swamped with chores or needing to get out and run round the block, but I never leave without my 7 kisses.

They are a Mother’s kisses to her boy. Her baby. Her love.

7 Kisses Goodnight.

Three.

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To my darling James,

It’s that time of year when Mama reminisces of when the trees bloom their blossom while I waited for my Spring baby to arrive. I remind myself how I waddled and paused for contractions to pass as I made my way to the Auntie Giu’s car. It took
20 minutes to walk 30ft.
Every time I go over a cattle grid it takes me right back to that journey to the hospital. I’m pretty sure that sped up the dilating for sure, although I wouldn’t recommend that method.

Today you turn 3.

What do I say to you about you turning 3?
You are challenging, inquisitive and strong willed.
You are stubborn, bolshy yet beautifully kind.

You are my boy, my baby, my absolute world.

How on earth is it ever possible that you are the tiny age of 3, yet 3 is simply a magnificent age.

Off to be a Superhero again....

Off to be a Superhero again….

1095 days ago you came into our lives and simply changed it forever. I say simply because loving you is the easiest thing in the world for me. Being a Mother, now that’s the hard part.

James you’re a threenager in the making with tantrums that can break a ninja.
A wibbly lip that melts me into putty with a tiny tear to guilt trip me for days.
But that smile. Oh that smile makes me fall in love with you everyday.

You make me hap-pea too my boy.

You make me hap-pea too my boy.

You and I can talk for hours and very often we do. You tell me everything that’s in your head and everything around you.
Your imagination is running wild and I hope you never lose it. Having something so amazing will keep you entertained for hours. Trust me, it’s what keeps Mama sane sometimes. Going into your little world, making the mundane around you more exciting.
But everything is exciting in a 3 year olds world. From taking the train to a far away land (Liverpool Street), to going on holiday (staying overnight at Auntie NaNa’s), to jumping off a pirate ship (jumping off the side of the swimming pool).

Your favourite things are:
Gary the Snail
Rockets
Dinosaurs especially Andy’s Dinosaur adventures
Surprise eggs (Kinder surprise)
Racing (running from room to room)
Making tea with your red teapot
Singing
Dancing
Pharrell Williams, Kasabian and Elbow
Your best friend Johnny
Minnie Dog and Lexi-bum
And you love everything ‘dis much’.

Big smiles when you're with your Minnie Dog.

Big smiles when you’re with your Minnie Dog.

As with every letter I write to you, I always say how well you talk and there is no exception here. You love to chat and enjoy nothing more than a natter on your phone. Which is also your hand.

Your manner in which you do things whilst bull in a china shop-esque, is also mixed with the grace of a dancer. Except for when you thump and we have to tell you to be be quiet otherwise you’ll wake baby Molly.

You’re still in love with Baby Molly by the way and you have a soft spot for lots of other ladies too. Flashing your gorgeous brown eyes. I simply cannot think where your flirtatious side comes from.

James, sometimes (I mean this in the nicest possible way) you can be a little shit. You are definitely in the ‘how far can I try my parents patience’ stage and for every wonderful thing you do, you follow it up with ratbaggery of some kind.
But, you’re good most of the time, so we won’t ship you off to boarding school anytime soon.

James, things are changing and you’re growing up faster than I’d like. Soon you’ll be at nursery full time and then before we know it, you’ll be in school.
But never, ever forget that no matter what age you are, you’ll never stop being my baby.

Sharing cheese with Mama

Sharing cheese with Mama


Having fun with Daddy.

Having fun with Daddy.


And as we keep saying to each other and to Daddy, you’re my best friend.

Enjoy being 3 my sweet, darling boy.

I love you more than you’ll ever know

Keep growing strong,
Love,
Mama x


Selfie poser

Two.

Dear James,

Two pudgy hands.
Two ‘Foots burgers’.
Two chocolate button eyes.
Two loving parents, in utter awe of you.
One big fat heart full of love for everything in your little world. Especially choc biskit.

We are Superheroes

We are Superheroes

Today at this very minute (2.16am) you turn 2 years old.
What a topsy-turvy year it’s been (that’s an under statement, I fear)
You have flourished from a tumbling baby, just finding his feet to a running escape artist of a toddler.

You are into everything, you want to try everything. You jump off the side of the swimming pool with no fear; you try all foods and let us know what ones you like; you sing and dance your way into people’s hearts.

But the one thing that’s really excelled is your chatter. You still DO NOT STOP TALKING! But now you actually engage with us and are saying little sentences.
You are the ‘Pease’ and ‘Fankoo’ boy and make sure you say it if you really want something. I couldn’t be more proud of that.
You tell me to be ‘Be saff, Mummy’ when I go to work and you tell me all the people who you’ve seen in the day when we chat at bedtime. You always say ‘Antnee’ even when you don’t see him. You love your Uncle so.

Talking of love, you love so tenderly yet you can physically see how much something means to you. You do a little grimace with your mouth, its like you can’t quite get out how much you love it. Never lose this passion.

Love.

Love.

You currently love:
Toy Story
Buzz
Boody (Woody)
One Ection (One Direction)
Uncle Olly (Olly Murs)
DINOSAURS!
Blast Off’s (rockets)
Johnny Burgess (BFF)
Minnie Dog (BFF)
Cuggles
Biskits (especially choc choc ones)

James and Johhny BFF

James and Johhny BFF

You are some sort of technology wizz as well. You can operate our phones which I fear will only come from being a child of the digital age. You can put the phone on, locate YouTube and put on Olly Murs quicker than anyone above 2 years old.

Ditto the DVD player.
Ditto the Sky planner.
Ditto Nanny’s washing machine.

I feel your hair should get a special mention, for it’s taken a life of its own this year. Starting off as wisps to full on crazy frizz, with a side of ringlets. It just suits your maniacal style.

But it’s not all praise my gorgeous boy. You obviously realised that tantruming is not exclusive to 2 year olds, and you’ve been perfecting that silent cry and subsequent paddy when I won’t let you jump off the sofa onto Daddy or let you run in the road.
I am obviously a terrible mother aren’t I!

James, you’ve brought so much to so many people. I’ve had people tell me how much they love you and what joy you bring to then, and some of these people, we’ve never even met.

Your pet Ladybird.

Your pet Ladybird.

A little while ago you told me you was ‘appy, Mummy’.
Please know you make us ‘appy’ everyday.

Stay ‘appy my beautiful boy.

Happy Birthday, James.

Keep growing strong.
All my love,
Mama xxx

You & Me & Us

Dear Pete,

Oh my wonderful husband of mine, what are we going to do?

Isn’t it shit. Isn’t this unfair. How fucked off are you right now, because I’m fucking livid.

This year has been far from great and now to top it off we’ve had our 3 bits of bad luck to finish it off.

FUCK.

I’m sick of us both saying sorry to each other. Why are we sorry? You didn’t do this, I didn’t do it. Let stop saying it.
Let’s only be sorry if you eat the last biscuit or forget to get the milk.

I am gutted, beyond belief, that our baby days that are made by you and me, are over.
We are so very blessed to have James.
He is just the best thing we ever made.

I need you now more than ever and I know you need me too. And this is where we really excel.

You, YOU are my world. You are the reason I am as strong as I am. I am the reason you are as strong as you are.

I am you and you are me and we are us.

Together.

In sickness and in health and every other shit storm that’s thrown at us.

Let go on this journey, Starbucks in hand, with our boy by our side and fuck this shit right over.

I love you with everything within me and an extra 5.3cm. (Size subject to change once it has been lightsabered).

Now, lets have a cuppa and a kiss and choose me a new hairstyle.
I might have cancer but I want to look my best for you.

I love you,
Frannie x